A Matter of Position

"There are no dull subjects; there are only dull writers." --H. L. Mencken

We're used to seeing quotations this way. Now, consider how we use quotations in our stories. Or rather, how we structure the quotations themselves. Placement of attribution--the "he said" part--makes a difference.

The treatment above is typical at the beginning of a story or book, with the quote, a dash, and the name of the person quoted.

In text, you can put the attribution at the beginning, middle, or end.

To put it at the beginning looks like this: H. L. Mencken said, "There are no dull subjects; there are only dull writers." In nonfiction articles, the person's credentials are often jammed in with the name the first time the person is quoted: "H. L. Mencken, famed New Yorker essayist, said. . . ." Putting the name at the start of a sentence helps readers keep track of who is talking, particularly if the previous paragraph ended with a quotation from someone else.

When the attribution is placed in the middle, a tiny bit of suspense is created, in the same way that comedians put a pause before the punchline. "There are no dull subjects," Mencken said. "There are only dull writers." In the middle, the attribution affects the pacing.

Finding attribution at the end of a sentence is ordinary and fine in the regular flow of text. Try to mix up the "Mencken said" with the "said Mencken," for variety's sake. Never put the attribution at the end of a final sentence in a story. You're ending with a strong sentence, right? (Otherwise you wouldn't be using it as your closing line.) To tag on the attribution at end detracts from the power of the quotation. It's like having Ella Fitzgerald sing "The Star-Spangled Banner" to a standing ovation and at the very end the janitor comes on stage sweeping her off. Kinda ruins the moment.

While we're the subject of quotes: Do not strain the reader's patience with verbs other than "said." A rare variance is OK, but "said" doesn't interrupt the reader's focus on what was actually said.

category: craft

Science Needs to Tell Their Stories

I'm working on an magazine issue intended to tell teens and their parents about nanotechnology, a field that manipulates molecules for an amazing number of applications. In doing research as I tried to figure out what to include in the magazine, I came across an endorsement of narrative at a workshop

. . . these major findings underscore a general finding that echoes the grounded theory methodology used to solicit this data: the narrative is an indispensable device to collect moral and social observations about nanotechnology, including those dealing with the categories of ethics, meaning, and belief mentioned above. As stated in Nanotalk: "Narrative is one of the most basic tools that human beings have for making sense of perception and experience and to invest those with meaning. Narrative provides access to the important but often unarticulated hopes, fears, expectations, and assumptions regarding our relationships to our bodies, to one another, and to the physical world we inhabit. It also brings to light essential, yet otherwise tacit, elements of the human psyche . . . narrative emerges in the public discourse to establish the meaning and significance of that technology" (Berne, 2006, pp. 17-18). For this reason, the very valuable act of using narrative in this project--of applying words and verbal expressions of imagination to science and scientific discovery--has emerged as an important finding about the ways in which one can create ancillary discoveries in fields in and beyond science, such as the humanities, and the ways one can work with scientists to express more meaningfully the nature of their work.

This quote was part of a presentation by a researcher who has a National Science Foundation grant to study some aspect of the ethical, legal, and other social implications of nanotechnology.

Creative Similes

Similes are comparisons using the words "like" or "as." For example: She was as fierce as a tiger. Similes offer a concrete picture. They can also add a subtle layer of meaning. Think about the difference in fierceness between a tiger and a chihuahua on a leash.

I'm always tempted to make obscure comparisons, usually to cooking. "She was as slow as cassoulet cooking." Cassoulet is a French bean and meat stew that traditionally takes all day. How many people can relate to that analogy? Not that many. I might get away with it in a snooty cooking magazine, but never in a publication for a general audience. The point of a simile is to add information, not send people to a dictionary--or, more likely, to the next story.

Keep your similes understandable but avoid cliches. For example: She was as fierce as a tiger. I'm sure you could name umpteen comparisons you've heard untold numbers of times. Smooth as silk. Soft as a baby's bottom. Cold as ice. Yada, yada. Avoid these! Bring something fresher to the page.

I hear a lot of cliches on radio (I listen to a lot of public radio). Maybe radio reporters fall back on the tried-and-true because these are sure to convey meaning quickly. I think they should trust the listeners' intelligence more.

Try this: Make a list of similes to complete, and complete them in unexpected ways that are still easily grasped. Take a list around with you and work on similes in spare moments. Try doing five a day for a while. It'll limber up your brain. Or put in the shopworn phrases in your writing, then go back and replace the usual word with something that conveys another layer about the thing being compared. Here's a list of five to get you started.

as hard as ____________
as cold as ____________
as expensive as ________
she swam like a ________
as impregnable as a ____

category: craft

Returning to Earth

I don't believe in writer's block. I do, however, sometimes take a break from everything except eating, breathing, sleeping, and dealing with my family.

Dealing with my family right now involves a bat mitzvah. Way more stress than is reasonable. Since this lovely milestone is now just two weeks away and most of the details have been taken care of, I'm trying to wrench myself back into some semblance of normal and do things I've been meaning to but didn't have the strength of will to make myself do.